damn it!

April, 2023

you know when you make a mistake but then there's a turn of events and it gets fixed?

this has happened to me many times, for example:

when i was in berlin for the first time and stayed in a hostel (for the first and maybe the last time). as i packed my things to leave, the envelope containing my money was nowhere to be found. can't recall how much it was. not a lot, yet, everything. looked for it all around like a maniac. someone found it in an extremely random place. could never explain how it got there. my relief was monumental. even rolled on the floor out of gratitude. the staff was quite entertained.

when i woke up too late, missed an exam and managed to retake it another day. 

these episodes of almost fucking up are important learning experiences 

but not as much as when the mistake can't be repaired

people are constantly teaching each other 

and amid these lessons there are the ones focused on

how not to make a certain mistake

ihave people close to me that will get very descriptive and vulnerable on their own experiences that didn't go to plan 

this is great since i can sometimes get negatively affected by the perfectionism portrayed in social media, plus, i appreciate the details of a messy story 

by virtue of the absorption of these informations 

there are some faults i'll literally never commit

on the contrary 

sometimes the theory doesn't translate so well to practice 

and i'll misstep

i believe that happens because some situations feel too subjective to apply the awareness that would result in the most well thought action

if i'm making mistakes is because i'm being experimental

outside the comfort zone life is full of surprises

within the sum of the mistakes i have made 

many didn't have the power to truly change me

they just didn't carry much consequence or personal value

some were repeated over and over again in order to get it right    

meanwhile 

other mistakes bring up deep identity questionings

they make me suffer and cry and feel fucking regretful 

the most recent one was particularly intense

right after it happened i told my dad i felt so stupid and didn't want to be perceived in that way 

as if i had been building this i'm trustworthy reputation and it suddenly got ruined  

he said something along the lines of

your stupidity or cleverness will be held in your actions following the incident

and that i had the power to choose how i wanted to deal with it

this and other amazing advices made me go from melodramatically wanting to disappear from the face of the earth to standing my ground and treating myself with compassion

the process involved 

constantly reminding myself of my accomplishments and strong features 

allowing myself to be guided by the drive of becoming a further grown human being 

realizing that other people have never paid an excessive amount of attention to my faults

they are too focused on their own, just like i am to mine 

fucking up means you are fucking alive

could go on about this subject but for now  

the end 

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i worked at brandy melville for a year: my reflexions