chapters
November, 2021
for many
many
many years school was the thing
it was enough
my people were amazing
very intelligent
caring
and loving
then came barcelona
four months
freedom and independence
(constant awe) mixed with ingenuity
back to rio
my first university experience
everything felt right
but the place
barcelona
"i made it" feeling
new university
invested energy on feeling belonged
the ambience is great
hard time connecting on a deeper level with the majority of people
exchange
north of france
population of about fifty eight thousand
no one came to visit
couldn't be bothered to show anyone around
minus one hundred fear of missing out
enjoyed the peacefulness as if i was never going to have that ever again
i'm a big town girl
traveled for twenty six hours on buses to get out of there
smoked industrial cigarettes on the stops
for the sake of the narrative
rio
a month
got run over by a taxi
(it was fine)
really good friends
barcelona
pandemic
slowed down
couldn't get my hands of a person
beautifully reciprocate
affection and communication
having a good partner
i mean good good
it's absolutely incredible
a lot of work involved
but yes
i moved eight times
in almost three years
i want a home
not an apartment
an apartment-home
found one!
myself and my lover
had a bad reaction to the required force of the interior design vision
kept telling myself
you have to maintain all of your responsibilities well managed
fortunately, it wasn't too late when i realized that
i could let go of things i could let go
situational prioritization it's what i call it
after that i was able to make my chaos, funky
stopped working at the retail store
so much free time
didn't loose myself in the world wind of possibilities
because i know what i like
and i love what i like
overall lack of motivation
the safeness of stability can develop into a boring state
no, thanks
i want buzz not numb
having big ass aspirations is great
and, sure, i have high hopes about the future but
what about in half an hour?
how exciting is that?
shouldn't it be?
decision making:
implementing (more intensively) stuff on my routine that will make me more constantly delighted
why do i make one activity tangled in another?
why do i believe that
in order to do one thing
i first need to do another
unreasonable! annoying! made-up script
i am my own interference
fuck
this body of work is from manu to ela,
i knew you could do it
